Monday, August 30, 2010

Widening reflection

It’s a time of reflection.  A time to run fingertips over frayed edges, smoothing sharp words tied with wounded connections.  We poke thru attic boxes of mistakes, dusting off lessons for improvements, yearning to do better, master old mistakes, and avoid familiar stumbling blocks in the year to come.

But reflection isn’t limited to digging up remorse and voicing apologies we hope stand in for healing.  It is also a time for celebration, for polishing snippets of kindness and soaking in the rays of displayed compassion.  It is a time to hold up our successes and relish in the rainbows cast upon our days.  Searching for the risks taken, regardless of outcome, we award minutes of courage, steps taken toward whispered dreams, and catalogue the paths we blazed as we carved out space to be real.  It is a time to celebrate events of becoming who we were created to be. 

These introspective weeks include listing shared laughter and extended hands, looking back upon sweet smiles, never knowing how far our ripples extend.  I reflect on deeper friendships formed and explore crevices of familial love, filling scrapbooks with snapshots of a worthwhile life. 

This is a time of looking back, regretting our failures and making amends for spurred tears.  But no year is composed solely of “If only I had...” and “I should have...” and “I could have done better”.  Yes, we aim higher, brush off our motivation and renew commitments to don our best selves.  But we also must celebrate the distances we’ve advanced and applaud our baby steps.  Celebrate the volumes of hugs and hopes not abandoned.  I must stop being small in my introspection, limited to self-flagellation and guilt.  I widen these days before the New Year and remember to rejoice the truth that I, like everyone, add something irreplaceable to the world.  So I mourn shortcomings and apologize for my falls, and I remember to be grateful for gifts given and received. 

I reflect largely this year, with remorse and joy, using a panoramic lens as I embark on a bigger life. 

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